It’s okay

Huh, El Yucateco’s Black Label Reserve is generally their least well regarded sauce. The Xxxtra Hot Kutbil-ik is by far the best (although is quite hot), and the Green is a real sleeper hit.

The mystery foil pack. It’s been in there for months, yet it’s hot.

“Tuna Kombucha Soup”

a bacon-wrapped sausage.

1) Maybe someone will bring her a hot pocket with a saw blade in it.

I must be stuck at the mental age of 14, because the first thing I noticed was the unfortunate placement of the banana and syrup carafe. 

Also it would be like going to Jezebel and writing an article describing how vaginas work, and asking, “Hey, did you know these are really fun to drive? Maybe go try one out!”

It’s your own fault for being so delicious and portable.

No.

Never had this before, but I’ll take a gander next time it’s available.

“I’ll save you a seat at the bar”

I don’t like chicken for breakfast...I mean there’s sausage and bacon...why would you want a dry chicken breast on a kind of dry biscuit? Give me a sausage & egg mcmuffin any day. 

I managed to get one!! YAYAYYAYAYAY THANKS GWEN.

“No. The white phone.”

NEW YORK CITY!

I’m down.

“The letter J wasn’t invented until 1630"

Secretly replace some of the Pez candy with Valium!

Yes.