I’m down.

“The letter J wasn’t invented until 1630"

Secretly replace some of the Pez candy with Valium!

Yes.

I can only assume you store them next to the severed heads of your victims as this is clearly serial killer behavior.

Now I want some fresh McD’s nuggets but they got rid of hot mustard I can’t do my sweet and sour and hot mustard combo so what’s the point?

Flaps around empty?

“Also, Supperware products are ideal for storing leftovers, to help stretch your food dollar.”

Was that before or after he said I am the Walrus? 

yo what the fuck

Every once in a while...it’s a dildo. Of course, it’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, “a dildo”, never ... your dildo.

The face down one where you can get a full view of the half head really *chef kiss* makes it.

I had a friend that, I swear, used to sleep with a doll looking like that even when she was in High School. She had the doll since birth, it didn’t have any arms or legs anymore, just a greyish face and trunk, it was never washed, and she’d put THE THING righ beside her shoulder under the blankets.

This one. It looks like it was part of a nuclear bomb test in the 50's, then left to rot in the desert for all eternity.

“And when I say brother, I don’t mean it like an actual brother, but in the way that black people use it. Which I think is more meaningful.”

DreamHouse is a joint venture of Authentic Brands Group and G/O Media. We deliver compelling product, innovative content, and immersive brand experiences. We create and activate original marketing strategies that drive the success of our brands across all consumer touchpoints, platforms, and emerging media. Our…

Anyone who thinks spears are better is a goddamn lunatic. Too much pickle. The breading falls off before you finish it. Invites double (and triple)-dipping. It’s supposed to be a shared appetizer. Serve it like a goddamn shared appetizer.

Oh my god. What monster fries a whole pickle!?

Chips all the way. If you’re going to fry something, you might as well maximize the fried surface area. Plus, spears are multi-bite, so you’re radically increasing the likelihood of pickle-breading separation. Which would be sad and illegal in 12 states.