Shuffling granite across frozen surfaces for fun is, indeed, the kind of thing the Scots would come up with. Also, there is a LOT of granite in Scotland.

I’d think it’s an event that mimics (loosely) an actual necessary life skill. It’s winter. You want some stew. Strap on the skis, grab your gun and get on out there to bring home the bacon. Just like team sports have roots in simulated warfare, biathlon is a sport that is an echo of a real life activity.

I just realized I’m too old for this shit. All I can think of is how icky all that oil is and how his laundry must have to go through at least twice to get all that oil out.

I see what you did there.

Do not look online for what happens when a blade touches skin. It happens and it is terrifying. Also, do not look online for when one person (always the woman) gets dropped on their head at speed.

They are one of, if not the best. Nothing average about them! Total superstars. They are consistent and strong and rarely fuck it up due to nerves.

Sorry! So so sorry.

Listen. It’s really hard to maintain a kind and pleasant demeanor when you are kidnapped royalty. Being a noble feline hostage is a shitty gig.

Staff member? Or indentured servant? Let’s be honest here.

Ha haha, nope! Just obnoxious and fun having! Sometimes when we pull up to party central we will crank an appropriate tune from our youth and scream sing it with the windows open. Usually chosen from the following:

Feel free! Word needs to get out that those who seek to influence the current US executive and who profess to represent His Word on Earth are very definitely not at all very good people, and seek to achieve the exact opposite goals that The Jeebus encouraged and spoke of in their own dang Bible.

Her appearance on the Daily Show was difficult to watch. The speech pattern and scattered thoughts were SO similar to my mum’s when she’s going through a manic episode it was disturbing.

I wish this every time he is in close proximity to Christians or on holy property. So far it hasn’t happened and I am mightily disappointed. I’m beginning to think that the “good Christian people” he meets with are not actually righteous folk but are Evangelical LARPers who are using their professed religion to gain…

Yep. But he’s all wrapped up in respectable wrapping paper and a tasteful bow, so you can’t see the real him til it’s too late.

My favorite age (so far) was 11. Trips to the grocery store included spontaneously bursting into song and dance down the aisles with mortified captive pre-adolescent in tow.

When will people learn? It’s so easy! Just turn the damn thing 90 degrees. It takes no effort.

Really, the only reason we have kids is to embarrass and/or hassle them relentlessly once they get to a certain age. Mine’s 18 and hideously embarrassed by us daily. GOOD TIMES! Keep up the good work!

Awarded one star and one eye roll because high level Dad Jokes deserve both.

Hinges? HINGES? Why, in my day we had a shoe box. Without a lid. And if we didn’t like it, it was put in the soup pot and we ate it for dinner.

I would bet the exact same thing.