I am sure a person who has math and physics behind them could figure out how much force would be generated via wielder’s height, arm length, overhand or underhand, and so on. You know, as a fun intellectual exercise!

I watch Schitt’s Creek (which is fucking hilarious) and they should get separate billing. His son inherited those same eyebrows, which are just as animated, but are better groomed.

May he take his crappy brother with him. And their best friend too.

I am pretty sure that any actress who appeared to go off the rails or was reputed to be difficult, a lush, crazy, a bitch, etc, in the last many decades has had contact with him, or someone just like him. The ones that have been judged harshly in the court of public opinion. Lindsey Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Tara Reid,…

It’s my absolute favorite. It really never gets old.

With those kinds of Very Firmly Held Opinions about women? I guarandamntee you he’s got a secret or two. Body in the chest freezer? Banned from the local mall? Hard drive full of bestiality?

Listen to them. They have really excellent advice for you.

I thought the same exact thing! He probably needs to see if she’s trainable before he decides to gift her with marriage and a passel of robodaughters. He’s like the St Patrick of Feminist She Devils’ heads and needs to drive the snakes out first.

Pretty sure there are online resources somewhere. Probably the same place that secretly installed all the snakes in our heads- Planned Parenthood. I gather it’s a total den of iniquity.

Maybe the snakes in your head were hissing too loudly. Mine sure were.

Oh my goodness! The snakes in my head are really impressed with the creative way he announced he’s a terrible human being. I pity his future wife and daughters. The snakes in my head have also pointed that his mentioning coming home to his girlfriend is an admission he’s living in sin. tsk.

AND THEY’RE DOING IT BY USING SECRET CODE BASED ON HOLIDAYS IN PRETEND PUTIN BEEFCAKE CALENDARS!

You always have to wait till the final dismount to see if someone really nails it or falls flat on their face. I could have plonked a “/s” in there, but took the risk.

It’s really hard to make friends these days. No one thinks his jokes are funny anymore. Sad troll.

This is a man who has so many righteous words to say and is desperately biting his tongue. I would not be surprised if he’s also clutching his own leg or his partner’s hand in an attempt to restrain himself. Go on, Denzel. You say what you need to. I am here to listen.

I bet that little statue has a bit of heft to it. Just sayin’.

Yeah, she definitely had an awful time of it last year. I commented elsewhere that she looked like she had just caught a whiff of dog shit when his name was announced.

I am thinking it would have been super awkward if the person who was receiving the award from him this year either refused it, or took her time at the microphone to address her concerns about his presence. Brie Larson’s face when she gave him his award (s?) last year had an expression like she’d just smelled dog shit-…

Ummm...no. He just didn’t want to distract. He was being generous. This in no way means he accepts responsibility for his actions (because his friends know he is not like that, that isn’t him, it’s not how he was raised), but people are being so unreasonable and can’t seem to look past the alleged behaviour. So he…

Very wise!