If you put flowers on your i’s, you can hold the pen any damn way you please.

Do you put hearts or swirls above your small i’s? If you do, it’s a must.

Yeah, you don’t need your knee to not hurt and be stable for the rest of your life. Your physio sounds like a bit of a dope. It’s actually their job to assess injury, try to mitigate further injury and facilitate rehabilitation. Jesus.

I swear to god I have heard this song before- it sounds so familiar. Either she’s totally been “inspired” by an existing song or she’s composed the equivalent of musical taupe.

It can’t hurt if it’s not there, right?

As a person who has also partially torn and completely torn ligaments in my knees, I will tell you a partial tear is fucking EXCRUCIATING. and takes forever to heal. A completely torn one doesn’t hurt at all (because it’s not there anymore!). My knee surgeon basically told me it’s better to completely tear, because…

Seems almost a waste to have all your nails off and no prospect of a proper fight, eh?

I have held a purse or two along with earrings. I know my limitations. Strictly back up only here.

Only as long as they’re fed into a giant meat grinder at the end of the interview. Or, at least doused in fake blood to symbolize their part in promoting or participating in violence against anyone they deem inferior.

Or, you know, not hunting for a beat down.

I have declared my home an official House Hippo Refuge. They can swim in my open topped fish tanks if they don’t feel like sharing a water bowl with the dogs/cat.

I usually just brought crayons, stickers and something to sort through (colorful buttons or beads are just dandy) when I had to keep my kid occupied and distracted. This was pre-iPad days though. Maybe Bejewelled or Candy Crush might do the trick. Especially if they only allow him the iPad when the big people are…

Each one of the above pictured statues depicting the human form is all about implied movement and emotions. They are not always “beautiful”, but they are so evocative. They absolutely blow away the emotionless bronze “memorials” which are nothing more than a fancy way to pee on a space to claim it.

Having observed a woman do the same with her earrings once was terrifying. Knowing she was doing it in order to take on a dude who was at least a foot taller than her was even more terrifying.

It’s always a fraught place to get lunch. It’s a total tiny hole in the wall run by a very angry and unpleasant Quebecois woman who will put anyone on blast if they look at her wrong. Like, the kind of person who finds being nice painful. She will ask you how your are through clenched teeth and then turn away before…

Who has a custody hand over at a dentist? Is this to make sure it’s public because neither of them trust the other? Dentists are stressful enough. Jesus you two- neither of you deserve your kids. I don’t buy into the matyr/shrew/deadbeat bullshit you two are pulling. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. Hope all that money you…

But...but...the pugs have little belly buttons on their little tummies.

I would have totally aced any astronomy/ physics class if they’d used pugs to demonstrate things.

I saw it as an attempt to indicate quality- like Jewish delis are outstanding and are levels above just any old deli.

There’s a deli about 5 blocks from me that sells the most AMAZING pastrami rye sandwiches. I will be going there today. And I will ask for two dill pickles, but slightly less mustard.