Smug fucker. If you were looking for the perfect visual representation of “backpfeiffengesicht” his face is the prime candidate.

I only hope that when I am an elderly widow, I am afforded the same fond tolerance. I will try not to terrorize people, but I can’t make any promises.

Here’s mine, being both crazy AND waiting for everyone to come to dinner. He likes to watch people eat.

The only fact I dispute here is the alone in the bathroom fact. Everyone in my family takes at least one person with them to carry on the “private” part of the conversation about whoever in the family that’s on the judgy hot- seat at that time. It’s how I learned about all the salacious and drama filled things members…

Mine was amazing when I was little, but turned into a monster when I turned 12. She was only fond of the “little ones” and the older kids were told to keep out of her way whenever there was a family do.

This is my neighbour- who is a goddamn delight and who gently terrorizes everyone in her orbit. I have ended up doing “just one small thing before I go” about a thousand times over the years. Lightbulbs are replaced, envelopes found, books taken down off top shelves, hinges oiled, tap drips investigated, and so on.…

I have willingly given up many presentation dishes for my food contribution at parties in order to make a quick goodbye. One of my friends now has two glass loaf pans, a large lasagna dish, two large dinner plates, a pie tin and a variety of serving spoons from me shedding ballast to get the hell out quickly.

Having a kid was the absolute best excuse for pretty much everything. From refusing invitations, to canceling last minute, to ducking out early.

A friend of mine raised her two kids with what amounted to conciliation and bribery, all while promoting the “reason with and never say no” form of behaviour model. Guess what- they are absolute monsters.

This is after the champagne and blow session, a la Lohan.

It’s about time. Everyone was asking when you would.

YES. See also: arrogant.

Am I the only person who would have LOVED to be on the jury? I would not have indicated bias in the selection process, but would gladly have made sure he received the proper justice. As a person who knows people who are choosing between taking meds for long term and chronic conditions and making sure their kids are…

The irony of a movement that seems it’s aligning with libertarians being smug about having a permit to “rally” while those opposing them did not should not be lost on anyone.

The gold coins is a new one to me and adds to the pleasure I feel when any of these pop up. The inspiration folks have found in this clip seems endless- just like my joy when viewing.

That’s terrible. Thank you!

Brilliant. Thank you.

hold my stethoscope

Nothing that massive amounts of painkillers and anti-inflammatories won’t fix. What? You banged your head too? I’m sure it’s nothing.

He could hardly do worse.