His parents must be so proud.

-food metaphor

No, that’s just what happens when a studio audience is present and funny things are said/done in front of them.

If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.

This website can’t get shut down fast enough.

And if you still have a Facebook account, you absolutely are. 

I don’t give a flying fuck what this vapid worthless trash wants me to believe.

“Braasch eventually founded and became the lone member of the Sarah Lives Matter movement.”

I forget the stand-up comedian who said it and I’m too lazy to google it but this line has always rung so funny and true to me:

Step 1) Understand that nobody gives a flying fuck about your suburban ass asking Alexa for the weather and move on with your life.
Step 2)

Ditto.  I cling tightly to my wife not only out of deep love and affection, but also because dating in 2019 seems like a motherfucking hellscape and I’d rather eat a grenade than try it.

“And it requires no sex. I repeat - no sex at all.”

“Mildred! Mildred! Hey, Mildred!”

I still fucking use that quote to this day when my wife asks me to do something I don’t want to do.

Note to self: Sam just looked at the screen.

Gee, it’s really hard to pinpoint why this site is getting fucked so hard when they turn in quality articles like this. I hope you find another minimum wage job that’s willing to pay you to write about nothing but The Sims and That One Time You Played A Shitty F2P Mobile Dating Game.

“I’ve never seen so many dead hookers in all my life!”

Correct.

I think it benefits a lot from the maple-ness of the McGriddle.  It’s obviously still their generic $1 chicken patty but it’s elevated somewhat by the pancakey buns.

Glad I wasn’t the only one. I was rushing to the comments to post “Uhhh, I’ve been getting a Chicken McGriddle for months, maybe years?” (which I guess I just did).