I took a mental health day a few weeks ago and it was.....fucking amazing.

It’s kinda weird that so many people need to be ready with symptoms and excuses and evidence.  PTO is PTO.  If you’re entitled to it, you’re entitled to use it whenever the fuck you want.  

Sad but true. Now get ready for everyone to jump up your ass for stating common sense facts.

You are now aware that you are manually breathing.

Imagine defending Mark Zuckerberg on the internet for free.

Name a single motherfucking “awful” thing that is directly attributable to atheism.

People who “genuinely believe” in invisible sky fairies deserve to be insulted. They’re fucking stupid.

And then there’s this dickhead dog owner.

I’m sure they’re reading the comments on Kotaku.  Great job.

“...came to me when my boyfriend and I...” 
“...the song stuck in my head long after my boyfriend and I...” 

Yeah, I’m torn as fuck on this. I randomly decided to watch S1 on a whim while sick on the couch one day and ended up bingeing it. Holy shit, it grabbed me so hard and I didn’t even stand up until I had finished it.

If this isn’t the Takeout’s new slogan for 2020, I’ll be upset.

They can delay it all they want - it’ll still be a shitty phone game no matter when it releases.

While I don’t doubt you at all, I do doubt that a random independent BBQ restaurant has a “CCTV camera worth its salt.”

Stupid assholes always think they’re funny with the Candlejack bit unt

Beetlejuice > Candyman > Bloody Mary

No lights = nearly impossible to identify suspects on security camera footage.

I despise “influencers” for myriad reasons, this being just one of them.

“I was badly injured while saving a bus full of orphans moments before it plunged off a cliff.  Did you not see the news?  It was everywhere.”

Using our kids to get out of shit we don’t want to do is like.....35% of the reason we had kids.