Step 1) Understand that nobody gives a flying fuck about your suburban ass asking Alexa for the weather and move on with your life.
Step 2)

Ditto.  I cling tightly to my wife not only out of deep love and affection, but also because dating in 2019 seems like a motherfucking hellscape and I’d rather eat a grenade than try it.

“And it requires no sex. I repeat - no sex at all.”

“Mildred! Mildred! Hey, Mildred!”

I still fucking use that quote to this day when my wife asks me to do something I don’t want to do.

Note to self: Sam just looked at the screen.

Gee, it’s really hard to pinpoint why this site is getting fucked so hard when they turn in quality articles like this. I hope you find another minimum wage job that’s willing to pay you to write about nothing but The Sims and That One Time You Played A Shitty F2P Mobile Dating Game.

“I’ve never seen so many dead hookers in all my life!”

Correct.

I think it benefits a lot from the maple-ness of the McGriddle.  It’s obviously still their generic $1 chicken patty but it’s elevated somewhat by the pancakey buns.

Glad I wasn’t the only one. I was rushing to the comments to post “Uhhh, I’ve been getting a Chicken McGriddle for months, maybe years?” (which I guess I just did).

I took a mental health day a few weeks ago and it was.....fucking amazing.

It’s kinda weird that so many people need to be ready with symptoms and excuses and evidence.  PTO is PTO.  If you’re entitled to it, you’re entitled to use it whenever the fuck you want.  

Sad but true. Now get ready for everyone to jump up your ass for stating common sense facts.

You are now aware that you are manually breathing.

Imagine defending Mark Zuckerberg on the internet for free.

Name a single motherfucking “awful” thing that is directly attributable to atheism.

People who “genuinely believe” in invisible sky fairies deserve to be insulted. They’re fucking stupid.

And then there’s this dickhead dog owner.

I’m sure they’re reading the comments on Kotaku.  Great job.