COME BACK, DADDY!  PLEASE, FUCKING CHRIST, COME BACK!

And the Lord said: “Maybe you wouldn’t get raped if you didn’t dress like a slut.”

MOBILE GAMES AND REMAKES!!!

“I haven’t seen them so they must not exist.”

What the fuck do you do, then?  Read a physical newspaper or magazine?  Just sit there and think?  I don’t.....I just don’t understand.

What the fuck do you do, then?  Read a physical newspaper or magazine?  Just sit there and think?  I don’t.....I…

Come on, you’re better than going after the low-hanging fruit, aren’t you?

All of my best ideas come right before I orgasm and pass out in the noose, so you may be on to something here.

I knew a guy who said he fasted for the two days before his birthday every year. I asked, “Why, so you can pig out without regret on your birthday?”

Fucking nailed it.  

No. This is just as shameful as the bullshit over on Kotaku where they screencap a bunch of Twitter/Reddit posts freaking out over [POP-CULTURE EVENT] and call themselves “writers.”

Yeah, these are all dogshit.

And goo?

Nothing will ever beat the time Dick Armey and Vagina Navey were in the same room.

No arguments here. Even the shittiest episode of Black Mirror gave me more enjoyment than 90% of everything else on Netflix.

This is otherwise known as “a Tuesday in Alabama.”

Shut Up and Dance was fucking excellent. Nothing more to add.

Look at it this way: you probably don’t know a single person who doesn’t use their phone while they poop.  

Look at it this way: you probably don’t know a single person who doesn’t use their phone while they poop.  

Hear hear.  I clean my glasses every single morning.  I can’t imagine not doing it.  All it takes is one little dirty speck and then I’m angrily staring at it all day.

Hear hear.  I clean my glasses every single morning.  I can’t imagine not doing it.  All it takes is one little…

Ah, the sarcastic screeching of a teenager who has no argument.  I’m done with you, kid.  Good luck.

-taking a lunch break is a “grand revolutionary gesture”