RIP Soul Plane

The swapped ‘M’ and ‘N’ really make this.

1000% this.

Same here. And guess what?

OH GOD I QUIT FACEBOOK AND NOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MY FRIEND’S AUNT HAD FOR DINNER OR IF MY COLLEGE ROOMMATE’S SISTER HAD FUN IN ITALY

I know, right? I quit Facebook 2.5 years ago - never looked back and never felt better. Leaving Facebook is easy mode. Just quit now, girl.

who fucking cares

Thanks to our cat’s penchant for bringing in live (very panicked) birds on a semi-regular basis, I’m unfortunately an expert in live bird removal.

Call me when Train Simulator gets a tournament and my ass will be there.

Don’t work for the federal government.

I couldn’t even get past the first scene of him cradling the girl in a rocking chair. Now I’m straight-up crying at my desk. Fucking hell. This man is a saint.

“We didn’t intend to whitewash tennis star...”

“...as well as Twitch.tv, the broadcasting behemoth that is the backbone of the online gaming industry...”

JEZEBEL: What do you make of being so prominently featured on this show?
VALERIE SEBESTYEN: Do you follow numerology at all?
Not really.
It’s my archetype. I have a lot of fives in my name. That [means] people are drawn to you...

“I told her not to bother, the word gets out anyway!”

Irrelevant. A “professional” writer is expected to proofread and correct errors before publishing a piece to the world.

If you get us 500 Days of Petey D, I will never fucking forgive you.

Who the fuck cares what that over-hyped fame baby thinks?  Does anyone really want to hear one of the world’s most obnoxious people whine about how hard it is to be him?  Skipping this shit hardcore.

Uh oh! It looks like you’ve hit your Sin limit and now you’re going to Hell to suffer for eternity! Or you could use 35 Vaticoins right now to skip your unending damnation!

“Pray...”