“Nanchuck”? Surely we can do better. Chucksy? Schumlosi?

Right?  I know it’s probably just the lingo of the era, but holy fuck, that’s conceited.  If I showed up for a date and the woman simply said, “Face it, tiger.  You just hit the jackpot!” I’d turn around, get in my car, and leave.

Natasha Lyonne?  Oh yeah, I’m in.

Yeah, they don’t do any proofreading here. Like, none. Like, they write the story and immediately hit the ‘Post’ button.

Yep, I killed him a few nights ago and got a good laugh.  “Parthos the Incel” probably wouldn’t fly but we all know what they’re saying. 

ok

Yeah, I remember finding a lighter in my carry-on just before entering the security screening and shitting my pants, wondering if they’d pull me aside as a terrorist once they found it.

Get the sausage version and I’ll make a reservation right now.

Yep, fuck them in their stupid fucking face. There’s ZERO acceptable reasons to cheat on a spouse. If there’s no love left, say so, and get a divorce, then go stick your dick in something new. To cheat on someone you are actively married to is the nadir of integrity.

Exactly. They’re almost never some pasty creep living in a dark apartment trolling the dark web for kiddie porn. They’re the person who held the door for you at McDonald’s. They’re the person in front of you in the coffee line. They’re the person you held the elevator for and smiled at. 

Or cocaine!

I shudder for your grade-school English teacher.

Thank fuck. I feel so helpless and guilty when there’s no changing table in the men’s room so my wife is forced to do it. (Before anyone asks, I have a bad back so squatting at odd angles simply doesn’t work for me. I NEED the waist-high stable surface.)

Congratulations, Frog.  You’ve been boiled.

Looking at hentai online =/= sex.

It’s called a hard stare.

“Go to church.”

“PROFESSIONAL”

Their parents must be so proud.

Oh, I absolutely understand the indoctrination and soul-saving quotas they have pounded into their heads since childhood.