he’s been the face of this cologne for well over a year. why are people just getting upset now? I’ve had to stare at this fucker’s face at bus stops for months. it looks like an advertisement for whiskey sweats and domestic abuse. 

I greatly envy those who can move away after a breakup. My ex and I are gay men in a big Midwestern city and I constantly run into him and his new flame (who is 12 years my junior and it will never not hurt). My options are to suck it up or become a recluse.

She is scaring the shit outta racists and I just wish racists didn’t try to shoot everyone that scares them.

Honestly, at first I thought you were going to say Joe Biden has to go everywhere with a dozen women all acting as chaperons to make sure he doesn’t assault any more women, and I was like...fair.

OMG, me too! They are especially awful if they are white (the sunglasses, not the men) and have one of those neck chords. Or they wear them on the back of their heads.

Yeah - I’ve had mixed experiences at Hooters. While not a place that I’ve ever sought out for food or women, I’ve ended up there for other reasons.

People keep assuming the youngs (the oldest millennials are nearly 40, can we drop that term already?) don’t go to places like Hooters because the kids today are “are painfully aware of how exploitative” they are. Can I offer another, simpler explanation: When you came of age in the era of PornHub, a girl in shorts…

Without being totally explicit, Hoots was announcing itself as an attempt to appeal to clientele Hooters historically has not: suburban families.

Sounds like you have a solid business idea to me! 

It’s hard to tell if she’s saying it as a value on her life, or acknowledging that she now has additional responsibilities to consider outside of the herself. There’s plenty of shit I would have done before kids that I wouldn’t do now, not because I value my own life more, but because I think about my MIL getting…

Yes, it would have been nice if he had realized this before he wrote his book, however the book was a reflection of part of that culture and someone would have written something similar.

I’m sure I’ll think of more but we’ll start with this one:

Why do I have to force myself to go to a job I hate every day just to pay my bills, while this person can go on tv and talk about who she wants to sleep with and live in a style befitting a french monarch?

As scientifically unsound as those water crystals are, deGrasse Tyson is on even more scientifically unsound ground when he implies that Frozen takes place in this universe.

He just taught me that water crystals have six-fold symmetry. That probably wouldn’t have happened without his input. I don’t know. Learning stuff can be kind of good.

Referring to a letter received by a mother who owed $75, he told WNEP, ““Where did that $75 go? Is it going to cigarettes? Is it going to alcohol? We don’t know. That’s right, we don’t know that,” he said.

OK, fine - this is the one I recall from scenic Springfield, Ohio:

Probably because people like me click on clickbaity articles and are all “wtf is this?... oh. interesting.. hehehehe. this is a dumpster fire... oh hella funny dumpster fire.”

“I don’t believe in criminalizing desperation,” he said.

My crumbs are either sugar from donuts, a loose fry that got away, or pieces of batter from fried chicken. All things I justify in my mind as being “dry” crumbs, instead of wet things like sauce or sour cream from a taco - as though the ants give a shit when they descend on my car.