Team Cheers will whoop Team Family Ties.

[looks around to make sure nobody’s listening]

If you're using terms like "PharmaCrack" you shouldn't be covering this because you're clearly got an ideological axe to grind.

The house I just moved into doesn't even have ground plugs.

This is just stupid speculation, and is about as relevant as a discussion about whether God wears boxers or briefs. The fact is that we have no fucking clue if something like a Dyson Sphere is even workable or worth the effort, or if it is even an efficient model. We have absolutely zero evidence to even suspect that…

Oh please expand on cutting weed down with other drugs. I am dying to hear this.

He should've just molested children for decades. Then they would've protected him as much as possible.

Is there any way I can feel guilty about this, as a white person?

All these years later and I'm still pissed at my AP English teacher. Her son was my best friend and she thought I was a bad influence on him so she had it out for me. First she accused me of cheating (in front of the class). I was able to prove I didn't but of course she never apologized. Then, she predicted (also in…

Yeah, like all of that non-staple lettuce in that San Luis Obispo valley that we're exporting to China. I know. Such a waste.

Who are these poors whom you believe benefit from California's agriculture? Mostly we grow crops that aren't exactly staples, and they are for export.

But is she single?

Seriously, Star Wars Episode 1 was such a let down. The plot was incoherent, the acting was terrible, the ...

Krull

They changed the name. The original was "Thai Ladyboy."
I think this is a step in the right direction.

As an old, I have noticed that since the Great Jezebel Exodus of 2014, the new writers have been forcing me to visit Urban Dictionary at least twice a week to understand headlines. I guess I'm no longer a part of the target readership of this site, because it seems like it's done to be intentionally confusing to…

YOUR TEACHERS ALL USE THE INTERNET WE KNOW WHAT FLEEKS ARE

The twist is that the author of this e-mail was Tyler the entire time (spoiler alert).

I hope this kid emailed back "lolol didn't read."

It's not gon b good. It's gon b played out and predictable and tedious. :(