Next up, IGotNothing explains that all straight women really love lesbian porn. (That's the next chapter in the cliche handbook, right?)

Allowing poly marriage would be a legal nightmare. It isn't as easy as just eliminating the genders on a form. There are a slew of rights granted to spouses that are reciprocal (power of attorney, tax deductions, legal parentage, etc) that would require a complete revamping of our federal and state legal systems to…

I do believe society evolves. Which is why what humans did a thousand, or 10,000, or 50,000 years ago is irrelevant — we have evolved past that. Saying we should do things the way we used to do them means you don't believe in evolution, you think humans (and society) stay the same forever.

I also think any company demanding a waiver from the ACA (or anything else) on religious grounds should have to post a notice on all physical sites, their websites, job applications, etc, citing not only that they got the waiver and for what, but the precise section of their religious text they are claiming justifies…

What payday? She never sued him. He's suing her. The only potential payday is for him.

I just keep some boxed milk around. It goes on sale fairly often at the grocery store, usually is good for at least 6 months if not longer.

Stop smacking people on the ass, you jerk. Seriously, are you out of junior high? Yes? Stop fucking doing that. Everyone hates you.

When my aunt got remarried, they did it in Vegas. A couple of family members attended, but most of us just logged in and watched in on the free webcam. Very convenient.

Not to be a doomsayer, but that's exactly how I felt when my Rheumatoid Arthritis hit at 32 — thought it was carpal tunnel, and then tendinitis in my ankles, then it hit everywhere. And, yes, if I spend too much time futzing with my phone now, all the joints in my hand turn bright red, swell up, and I need to dunk it…

Squibb. Squibb Bristol Meyer.

Ditto. But I also know that writers of a certain age compare everything to the stuff of their youth. I find it hard to believe that Tina Fey and Robert Carlock, both of whom are too old to have watched Nick and Disney 90s shows, were inspired by that. It's more 30 Rock/P&R.

Because she's decided to name one after herself?

My mother used to proof by covering the bowl with a damp cloth and setting it on top of the (tube) tv. So, hey, if you have one of those in the garage, here's a use for it.

You don't have any real lumberyards in your area? Tradespeople have to be buying their wood somewhere.

I don't need to undercook my eggs because I put dairy in them to keep the moisture from leeching out (it's a chemistry thing). Oh, and you fry them in butter, and maybe put some on top. Where did you learn to cook eggs, Boy Scouts?

This is blowing my mind. Aren't they just crumbly dry egg nuggets when you do that? Do you not use butter either?

As someone from the North, it has never occurred to me NOT to add milk. I feel like the texture would be gross without it. But, then, I also thinks grits are disgusting.

And let's get real — while you can botox away the wrinkles on your face, it's not so easy to hide the signs of aging on your hands and feet. I frequently see people snarking on women's "old lady" hands.

Wow. It's almost like keeping strictly Kosher, but with much more immediate consequences.

He actually took so much Oxy he went deaf. If that wasn't the universe sending a message, I don't know what was. Hey, universe, next time take his vocal cords.