Since when do they consult students about school mascot names? My high school changed their team names and the school colors when they were able to get a really great deal on some factory second uniforms. No once cared. Team names change all the damn time.

Oh, please. You know what's hard? Actually having cancer, or any other serious illness.

As far as I can tell, the Girl Scouts came up with the name in 1975, a rebranding of their previously generic-sounding "Coconut Macaroons", and other companies/cooks now use it for combos of coconut and chocolate (I'm guessing they chose Samoa because that's where they got the coconut from, like many place-named…

Whenever he accepts an award, I assume he is actually Jonathan. And if success is measured in awards, then, yes.

No. Nope. No, no, no. We can all tell, dude.

If Whole Foods named it, it's definitely a ripoff, since they weren't founded until 6+ years after the Girl Scouts started selling Samoas.

The Sandisk Connect is pretty great. I picked one up last year. One thing of note: the storage on it is actually on a swappable MicroSD card. The 16GB and 32GB models can only support up to 32MB MicroSDs, but the 64GB model can handle a 128GB MicroSD if you want it to.

Many schools peg Spring Break to Easter, and the ones who don't almost always still give off Good Friday and/or the Monday after Easter, ya shithead.

Ditto in Wisconsin. They made the change when I was in junior high, because while they somehow were okay with 50% student absenteeism, they got to the point where they couldn't find substitute teachers for all the teachers calling in "sick".

He has a live music tv show that pops up at odd hours on the local Philadelphia station. This is my fave from that:

Binder clips! You turn the duvet cover inside out, reach in and clip the outside (now inside) corners of the cover to the comforter with binder clips, then just turn the cover right side out. Works like a charms. (You can also keep the clips on the corners if you have a comforter that likes to wriggle around inside…

Even young, skinny creepy pedo-bear Elvis did not have good eating habits. A colon cleanse couldn't hurt.

I always patted dry, but the best is to get a nice big terry bathrobe and put that on in lieu of drying your whole body. I use a small towel to pat down my crotch, feet and calves and another for my hair, but the robe does most of the work.

I use the Johnson's Oatmeal baby wash as body wash. Doesn't have a "baby" smell and works great without irritating.

I have been blessed with this gene, and the only time my sweat/pits ever get stinky is when I have the flu (and, oddly, my earwax gets wetter then, too). Soon as I get better, no more smell. The only downside is that it took me ages as a teen to get into the habit of showering regularly, since I never had anyone…

The no meat on Fridays did go out the window quite a long time ago, but it's become such a tradition in Catholic areas that you'll find people still doing it out of lifelong habit (as noted, you'll find fish specials at restaurants on Friday nights in those areas, too). No meat on Fridays during Lent is the real rule,…

You only ate fish on Fridays during Lent? I grew up in a largely Catholic town, and our school lunches were always fish or mac & cheese on Fridays, year round, and every single day during Lent (with the occasional cheese pizza thrown in for variety). I didn't mind, because Friday night fish fry is awesome.

Where I live (Central NJ), most local Chinese restaurants have special menus you can request if you want authentic Chinese or other Asian cuisine. They aren't written in English, though, so you either have to be semi-fluent in the appropriate language or know what you want.

See, I think breakfast burritos are nasty, and would break up with anyone who tried to force me to eat one first thing upon waking.

Is that right next to the part of the brain that tells you not to type out inside drunken jokes on social media and broadcast them to the world? I'm guessing that must be a part the helmet doesn't protect.