“You have to plug them in?” “That’s like a baby’s toy!”

I agree with you in general, but don’t all the roasters go after all the other roaster’s looks? I may be wrong but that seems like something that has been done in perpetuity. I feel like that’s kind of par for the course.

I mean, as Jewel said: “As a feminist, I can’t support everything that’s being said tonight, but as somebody who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”

“A monster of a human being. The worst person I’ve ever worked with in my life.” - I don’t know, that sounds kind of generous.

I feel like we’re missing some important information regarding the gift card story. Anti money laundering laws only allow stores to sell $500 per gift card brand per person per day. I wonder if that was part of the issue.

How many dead dogs per classroom these days?

Paul LePage, Maine governor, for being totally vile and seemingly impossible to get rid off.

Sounds like he really hit a wall.

Five or ten years from now, regardless of how the election goes, he’ll be telling this story.

I’ve just had a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach. And it’s not the lunch.

How crazy would it be if he left a closed-door meeting arm-in-arm with the Mexican president, both of them nodding and weeping? And then President Nieto explains that they will, in fact, finance the wall.

If Trump was a good troll he’d send a pic of him enjoying traditional Skyline Chili with a spoon and knife.

Here’s a thought: maybe.... don’t? Don’t fuck that dude? Deprive him of all possible fucks. He doesn’t deserve them.

Kind of. After it went viral, they added that in reaction to the realization that they were going to be publically know as the people who had a Chris Brown wedding song.

I was too busy thinking about the drugs.

No, love. He shouldn't have had a gun to begin with. It's a probation violation. He is almost definitely going to prison now.

Oh lovely, this is the first I’ve read about Chris Brown fans blaming the woman who called police. They would, wouldn’t they?

Not if they treat him like the Aspirational-Wall-Building Amityville Horror he actually is.