Add it to the pile, then light said pile on fire.

The only fact missing here is that her parents were uber famous.  If she descended from normals she’d be a bank teller.

I agree with every word in this post, and the order you put them in.

When I could only see the top of the dress I assumed it was floor length. Scroll down 2 inches and HOLY SHIT THAT HEM. Yuck. No.

My husband once had to leave his very new F150 at the dealer for 22 fucking days.

Half the purpose of spending extra money to buy a new car is that you expect it to WORK because it’s NEW. You can hand-wave away everyone’s very valid arguments, or you can listen to what people are saying.

That’s why I always split my caviar with starving kids.

Ugh, just seeing that word makes me sweat.

We only have one kid (she’s 2).  Recently, we were packing to go on a trip.  We had been packing for TWO HOURS when I realized we were not making progress.  TV on.  Packing finished.  It is incredible what a toddler can do to your damn schedule.

That is some expert level parenting right there.

If I don’t prep as much as possible the night before oh my GOD do I regret it in the morning!  But yeah that’s a major key.  Kids should be going to bed way before adults.  That gives time at night to get shit done for a smooth(ish) morning.

Well then the OP blows for not wanting to date shorter guys SO MUCH that she actually resents short women when they date the tall men that she is apparently entitled to.

Based on my viewing of the show, Ozarks, you need to set up your books to LOOK like you are doing things legally. Then you have a second set, SECRET, set of books with the real numbers.

Another . . . Are . . .

Back in college my husband was driving a group home from the bar one night. I was in the back with his friend who was trying to tell everyone that he was going to be sick. Only he couldn’t stop gagging enough to get the words out. My husband turned around at a stop light to ask what was going on and his friend…

Man I feel like I talked about nothing but the poop leading up to labor and it didn’t even happen to me.  All that worry!

I just got everything from the hospital. You’re paying a buttload to be there, so steal all of their supplies.  One thing I will say is, if possible, set up your home so you don’t need to move much once you get home.  My husband dragged a bunch of crap into our living room so I could kind of camp out there with the…

Lol glad to know what worked for you will work for every kid.

Other than pumping at work (which can die in a fire), I didn’t feel any of this while nursing. I wore my daughter while nursing most of the time, and continued doing whatever I was doing.

I’m a mom and I DID NOT LIKE having a baby. Oh my god. They’re up all night. They can’t talk. They can’t walk. My girl is a very independent (most of the time) 2-yr-old now and she’s a blast to hang out with.