If you’re serious about wanting to read more and willing to think outside the box, I strongly suggest giving audio-books a try. You may think it would be odd, you aren’t into it, it’s “not the same,” etc. but it really helps me get through my reading list.

First they came for the Krispy Kreme run, and I didn’t care because I like Dunkin

Why is this a thing?

I'd buy that bumper sticker.

Holy fuck...but you know, having guns is the most important thing...

Fun fact:

Will this never cease to be the truth??

This totally jumped out to me! It's so funny that men like this never have any idea what weights actually look like.

A 5'7" woman with a maximum weight of 120 pounds. Yeah okay dude.

A walking Fleshlight

A doll?

To be fair, he posted pretty much the same kind of requirements for male DJs:

A noticed that a new coworker would spray and wipe down his desktop, mouse, and keyboard every day before he started work. I figured he had OCD or something, but later he told me it was just a habit he got into when he was working at some location that was particularly dusty or something, and he’s just kept it up…

I would be so fucking charitable with my winnings, no lie.

Hey, has anybody seen my peyote?

“You know who has $60 million? Jennifer Lawrence.”

It’s not my lottery ticket but if anyone just wants to give me $60,000,000 I promise to spend it on only the finest projects, like a movie starring Jennifer Lawrence as David O. Russell.

Stabler would rip that POS detective in half like a phone book