I give kudos to any media prankster who doesn’t end his prank with either “baba booey” or “fuck her right in the pussy.”

Her obtuseness is the caviar of beach garbage.

They’re wearing lash extensions, not mascara. I’m sure they appreciate your deep concern for their welfare, though. Maybe someday you can finally liberate them from their cosmetic oppression, Imperator Anti-contouring.

Jesus Christ, yes. Fucking nobody gets educated about what hymens actually are.

Like they would know what it looked like. PLEASE FOOLS you can’t even find the clitoris.

I worked at an extremely service focused grocery store. We also had plenty of older customers and moms with out of control kids. So....when accidents happened....and they did....the maintenence staff would trip over each other in a rush to clean it up. I chalked it up to the service ethic. But no....if you had to…

Eeep! Reason 4,752 why I don’t want kids, lol. Although I gotta say, in my limited experience (i.e. with my dog, haha), it’s a whole lot less nasty to clean up stuff like that when it’s a byproduct of a loved one, rather than a random stranger. I’ve had to pull a string of poop followed by a torrent of diarrhea out of…

Ickkk. I don’t think I’d have the stomach to do that job... Although it still doesn’t sound quite as icky as actually wiping the poo off of someone’s butt directly >_< That story is actually hilarious, though. I love funny old people.

“Peeing in a public place is an act of fantasy fulfillment that many of us would perform if given the chance and the assurance that we wouldn’t be put in jail.”

The fact that this is huge seems fitting.

Attention all news outlets:

This is pretty minor. When I was 15 or so, my brother was 10, and our mom took us on a trip to Austria, Italy, and France. We saw a lot of cathedrals. My brother reeeeeally liked the crucifixes everywhere and bought a big one to wear around his neck from one of the gift shops. We’re not religious, he just thought it…

I'm not seeing where she said she meant strangers. Do you really assume a man couldn't do this right under your nose? Do you really assume children tell their parents everything immediately? Do you really assume children will scream their heads off when Uncle Teddy presses money in their hands and says something they…

Nothing against your comment in particular, but I miss the days when Jez discouraged talking about specific numbers. Now there will be a million comments about whether x height and x weight is really “fat.” Numbers tend to derail the discussion.

BYOC.

People never remember REM’s follow-up single to “Don’t Go Back To Rockville.”- “How Did You Even Get Out Of Poolesville In The First Place?”

You have M Night Shyamalan make a movie with that title.

I don’t have much for this, sorry. I’m not clear on the part about not getting up and walking out after the part about the live-in baby/baby-mama came up. Oh, and spelling the word “jipped” doesn’t make it any less offensive. Sorry.

Your mom is the best.

What a good mom.