If you punch one of those people in the face, I will donate to the Kickstarter for your bail.

Here is the number #1 (no pun intended) rule of etiquette for multi-stall bathrooms: If you are done with your business and the other door that was shut when you got there is still shut, someone is holding onto their poop for dear life, praying that you will hurry up and leave. Please move along. Hopefully someone…

So you’re saying they’re literally basic bitches?

The problem with these pinatas is that instead of candy, little Trump toupees fall out.

I like it... combines recycling and job creation!

One of my all-time favourite makeup artists—the divine Lisa Eldridge—loves vintage makeup, and has done a couple of excellent videos exploring some of that history, starting from the Victorian era to the 1930s. This is the first part, and you can find the second part—which covers the 1940s to 1970s—here.

You don’t need to buy some stupid special little scented baggies to hold dirty diapers in for all eternity. That just adds to the level of waste created by using disposable diapers in the first place.

But the ethically and ecologically sound answer is obvious: you fling the dirty diaper onto Donald Trump’s rubbery-ass face.

This is insane.

Directly at the first person who complains about me changing the kid in public.

He looks like Sweetums.

I wouldn’t bang Mark Cuban, but I would bang Robert Herjavic like a screen door in a hurricane. He has gorgeous blue eyes, seems nice, and he gets gooey over animals and kids whenever they’re on Shark Tank. In his Ferrari, in the back seat of my Civic, in a forest, on a beach, in a cheap motel or a penthouse suite,…

What? Locking up an ADULT child and restricting their communication is not abuse? It’s a stretch to call imprisonment “abuse”?

Rich guy getting rich off slavery thinks getting rich off slavery’s cool?

It’s a choice, and you’re a Debbie Downer. Why does everyone compare a wedding to traveling the world and a down payment on a house? What if I’ve already done those things and STILL want to throw a wedding. Is that allowed? Should I adopt 5 children instead and send them all to elite colleges? Should I write you a…

Yup, throwing a fun party that gets all your family and friends together is lame, lame, lame. Other non-essential things like travel are objectively and inherently superior to hosting an event that allows your loved ones to meet and have fun together.

I guess a decent maternity leave like the rest of the First World would be a crazy idea, eh?

is it covered in poop all the time?

Wow what a great way to stop your cat from pooping effectively. And! I love cleaning cat feces off tiny jewels.

Russell is so difficult to deal with that those three are likely some of the only actors left who want to work with him.