Goddamn, that is a fabulous gift. I remember driving home from work once thinking “Fuck, I have to mow the lawn. I wish there was a magic lawnmowing fairy who would just do that”.

Yeah, my husband is coming home from a long work trip tonight. I miss him even more right now. He’s such a good person. And I don’t want to ever leave him and I know one day one of us will have to leave the other and that is crushing me now.

I can’t do anything about that so instead I will shovel the driveway so he…

That’s what I use my old account for! I never actually had AOL, it was netscape.net, but AOL bought em out. But I’ve been using it for e-commerce ever since the days when e-commerce was so risky that you never wanted to use your “real” email address for it.

Let me sign on to my Prodigy account and check that out.

I remember back in 2000 when W. was running. My mom is a librarian and even though it’s been 17 years I can still hear her clucking “How is a librarian married to that man?!”

Pretty sure new wars are very much part of the picture. GOP has been chomping at the bit to get some fight on in Syria, Yemen, back in Iraq, South China Sea... I mean, this is the same GOP that let Bush/Cheney throw our weight around. I don’t see anything different, especially when Trump stands up and explicitly…

Yes! It definitely helps with that. I don’t want my professional email getting gunked up with my shopping discount codes or personal emails. I guess I could move my home stuff to a gmail account under a different ID, but....at this point, there’s no reason other than the small shame of saying “@aol.com” So fuck all…

I’m not trying to be controversial but is his administration REALLY circling the drain? Don’t get me wrong. He is in the bathtub or the sink or whatever . . . the toilet bowl. yes. he I sin the toilet bowl. But he still has high approval ratings with his base. The republican congress is basically at the mercy of that…

Let me Ask Jeeves.

I’m waiting for Sessions to make a “I’m just a small-town country lawyer and not familiar with a lot of the big city ways so I wasn’t aware that talkin’ to that nice Roosian gentleman was any sort of problem” statement at any time now. He’d probably work in statements about the flag, being a Christian and patriot…

Not Lycos?

you will be ‘olde’ one day. if you’re lucky.

I bet he navigates to his email via Alta Vista.

How many emails were to Mother, and how many to Mother Russia?

He’s still waiting for his Netscape browser to load...

People do change. I could just die when I think about how I used to feel about political issues. I was raised by Republican parents (not as Republican as they are now; they’ve crossed into “Obama is a Muslim, no taxation without representation, let’s join the Tea Party” people). When I graduated high school, I was…

Well, you know the saying: to look young and fresh, hang around grey, ambulatory raisins with a grudge.

Apparently waking up in the middle of the night to smoke isn’t the fountain of youth that it used to be.

So, I belong to this Clash message board, and since we evidently have nothing more to talk about regarding a band that broke up over 30 years ago, we start engaging what we call Good Natured Dumb Assery (GNDA). One of the recurring GNDA jokes is that John Mellencamp is a huge racist, Holocaust denier, and puppy…

Hey Bobby, where do watermelons go in the summer? Answer: John Cougar’s Meloncamp. Carry on.