I was gonna ask why the Grandes are so obsessed with telling us about their boyfriends’ big dicks, but now I feel that the question itself contains the punny response.

Guess the yoga classes didn’t completely fulfill their early promise of lowered stress and anxiety. More deep breathing, Alex. Also, just because he’s a Trump-hating Dem, and very funny also on 30 Rock doesn’t mean he’s not an asshole.

there is nothing more liberating than unfollowing a thirsty celeb.

let me live.

I find that when comedy types do paper interviews their humor doesn’t always translate well. I like her and when I picture her saying this it makes a weird kind of sense, it doesn’t read well though.

Yes, I feel like this statement is pretty cringey, no matter the age or sex of the person saying it.

I thought she was just explaining once you have Captain America you are forever horny. I think I would be.

[Horniness] is my way of life...

I’ve legit only seen hickies on TV shows and never IRL.

Kanye has gone full step-and-fetch house negro to try to secure the drunk frat bro / sorority girl cash flow.

I liked the part where Kanye motioned at Michael Che to agree with him and even Che was like “Nope.”

Are we going to talk about Kanye wearing a MAGA hat and getting booed by the audience for giving a pro-trump rant? He literally said the Democrats planned to take black fathers out of homes and put them on welfare. WTF? I guess most of it never made it on air but Chris Rock posted a video of it, it’s pretty cringey.

When Grassley said, “Well I’m hard as hell,” I died. And then when Kennedy called the female prosecutor Miss Frizzle, I died again.

When he said “I’m a keg is half full type of guy” I almost fell off my chair. Brilliant. (Even though Matt Damon has shown himself to be pretty ignorant of his own white male privilege in the past)

‘I’m a very famous person, unfortunately.’

I don’t know how most celebrities tolerate/ignore this stuff. Every morning I’d get up and check my car for a tracking device. Ugh. 

Regarding the stalker..

In an astonishing display of restraint, here’s nine-months-pregnant Hilary Duff politely asking her stalker, whom she addresses as “sir” while he is idling in a residential driveway next to her car, to please stop following her to her son’s soccer game, her errand runs, and her sister’s house.

The only thing celebrities line up for, in my opinion, is a job that includes a lot of promotional work. I’ve seen lots of famous people but wouldn’t have dreamt of even asking for an autograph unless they were at an event where that was expected much less followed them to get their picture. This is not okay and I…

I would have said “My dog has a neck size similar to mine! I gotta make sure this collar will be comfortable for him!”