If you are worried about keeping your sneakers clean, you are not living your life to the fullest extent.

Please show me someone not on a tennis court who doesn’t look ridiculous in toothpaste-white sneakers.

How horribly rude of me, thinking that I had a fucking right to engage in the political processes of this country. Must have missed that day of civics where they went over how we're obligated to go with the safest choice, lest we be kicked out.

Preach, yo. At the end of the day, I look at the platforms of EVERY SINGLE CANDIDATE and it’s laughable to be like “oh, yes, under you, you would GUARANTEE that this wouldn’t/would happen”. We get it. We should all get it. But when it comes down to it, I need the tenacity, optimism, and drive of somebody like Bernie…

Sure dude. You and Wiz Khalifa can enjoy your hoverboards, and biohacks.

No, no, no. Unless it interfaces in some way, you haven’t bio-hacked anything, any more than my grandfather’s new hip is a biohack.

Body modification is “bio-hacking” now?

One of the funniest films ever made. “What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.”

Clear your schedule today. You need to watch, in this order, “Caddyshack,” “Stripes,” and “Ghostbusters.”

Man you have no idea. American roads are pure shit. I drove some mountain passes in bavaria that were pure heaven. We have so many performance cars in Murica but no infrastructure or etiquette to use them

Finally...

You’re disgusting. People have asked this before, but please stop sharing your disgusting, disturbing, and probably made-up stories in the hopes of getting women to share their sexual histories with you. I think your tactics are pretty played out and well known, and they’re not going to work any better on Jezebel.

I’m ignoring instructions because I DON’T PLAY BY THE RULES

Here’s the problem with that. If the values are starting to plunge they likely will continue to do so. Buy a sick car and nurse it back to health only to compete price wise with the cars with bad transmissions that will continue to drop in value as owners pay them off and become more and more desperate to get rid of…

His two car garage seems to be overflowing. Riddle me this: why not spend $3K for a rebuild and then sell the car for $5-10K more than he can now? Call me cynical but this sounds suspect.

$60M seems pretty damn low, no? Considering all of those NCAA athletes combined are still getting $40M less than what Hulk Hogan alone is going to be taking from you guys.

She got banned, other people got banned, comments were being removed left and right - this has been a total shitshow. Despite being gray, I’ve been here since 2007 (back when you had to audition to be a commenter, had a star and everything!), and I’ve seen some crap go down around the Gawker universe, but this has by…