I haven’t weighed myself in 16 years. Not since I started treatment for anorexia nervousa.  And once I successfully completed treatment, I refused to look back.  It feels fucking fantastic.  I have no idea what the number is. 

I once bought Donuts from a local boutique-y place to work (Do Rite) the same day a saleswoman brought in Dunkin’. Nobody touched the Dunkin’ and I caught the saleswoman taking a pic of my box with her phone and writing down the address.

Are you fucking kidding me here? I *wish* I was single most days. There’s nothing like taking three naps on Sunday, staying out as late as I want, and having a pet.

Then you should totally fuck me because sex with me has been described as “thankless”.

I once went to a girls-only movie night where we all watched Sophie’s Choice because the hostess though it was about a love triangle and the titular choice was between the two dudes.

Because it’s not about taking the W, it’s about grinding our faces into the dirt for daring oppose their venomous agenda. 

Favorite teenage outfit, circa 1998: wideleg pants made of patchworks of red and yellow and black plaid squares, black men’s vans, and a white tank top that everyone here called a ‘beater.’ Upon the tank I had hand drawn a pink triangle in puffy glitter paint (point down, thanks!). And no bra, ever, as those were for…

I was a chubby kid, and my mom refused to buy me jeans because I was too ‘chunky’. Jeans existed in my size, but Mom insisted on buying me polyester pants, flared at the bottom, (It was the 70's) and light blue. Always light blue - maybe it was the only colour the local store stocked? Maybe my mom had a big crate of…

Was this in the early-mid 80s? Because I (a guy) had a sweater that went from bright yellow around the neck and got darker and moved into orange and then red and then reddish-brown. I loved it. I must have looked like a 6' 4" walking Tequila Sunrise.

I too am thoroughly confused by the blazer in hindsight.

I was of the JNCO generation. I used to wear these absolutely massive JNCO jeans with burgundy swirly panels down the sides. Add to that black platform sandals and a white tank top and a uh....black blazer for some reason with a lace skinny scarf that I would tie into a bow at the back of my neck.

Excuse you I have always been a fashion ICON

If your male partner stops brushing his teeth you need to make him your ex-partner.

Honestly, I think dating profiles for straight men should have a box to check if they’re housebroken.

Another item for the “basic aspects of adulthood that somehow women are responsible for in their male partners’ life” pile. 

pineapple on pizza dipped in ranch. don’t bother hating on me since I’m expecting my heart attack any day now. 

Key Lime La Croix tastes like cream soda, but in a terrible way. 

Well I for one think the Blue Lagoon children really grew up nicely.

I always wear thongs - they’re more comfortable on my body shape. Full butt coverage just means even more fabric gets wedged in my ass. Hanky Panky original rise for life!