I remember when I did hardcore keto. It was called anorexia back then.

His tunnel boring machine must have hit a major breakthrough, given the rate at which he is digging himself in a hole.

I grew up similar, but with real milk in some better, later years of my childhood. I hated milk. One day, late in my teens, I had whole milk. HOLY SHIT! That’s some good stuff. I didn’t hate it at all.

Mister Misty and nerds blizzards were the BEST

DQ was one of the few fast food options in the Central IL town of 5,000 I grew up in, and it was always my favorite. They’d frequently run the 2 for 2 deal on cheeseburgers, or 2 for 3 on double cheeseburgers, and their burgers were actually substantial, so this was a great deal. One of the less remembered, and…

“The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time...” 

I’m relatively close to 40 and I literally just found a haircut that works for me for the first time in my life. Who knows what wonders the future could hold for me?!

is lil tay short for elizabeth taylor the same way bobby flay is short for robert flavor and elon musk is elongated muskrat?

I freaking HATE you. ctfu

On the other hand, though, why are you feeding a kid in a shopping cart? Those things are filthy...

I have a reason to share this now.

She stayed with him because she’s a greedy fucking monster. Let’s not pretend that the women who married into this disgusting family are victims. They haven’t always only known what we all know - they’ve always known MORE.

These motherfuckers need a goddamn hobby. Folks just want to live their lives without some nosey puritans getting up their asses. The next time some rightwing blow hard tries to give me a “small government” argument I’m going to take a dump in their lap.

I’ll save my Olympic sex quotient for downhill speedos, thanks.

VB has no time for you heathens that purchase eyewear at a drugstore.

Jason Momoa’s Aquaman is absolutely my preferred fish man fuck, but I would definitely do The Shape of Water fish man because life is short and I am not afraid of my inner monster fucker.

She looks like she’s about to call 911 because she saw a Black man jogging

this is fucking exhausting. all of it. the bad dudes exhaust me. the bad dudes who i liked but now can’t like because they’re bad dudes. keeping track of all the bad dudes.