Reminds me of Merrill Markoe’s bit about why we shouldn’t look to supermodels and actresses for beauty tips—what advice can they really offer besides, “Next time you’re born, try to have better looking parents”?

I used to get phone calls from bill collectors for my ex-boyfriend who actually is dead. Once, his mother got a series of phone calls from the City of Oakland regarding a ticket he had failed to deal with when he lived there. After calmly informing her that he was, in fact, deceased, the lady making the phone calls…

Wait, you were a gal pretending to be a dude on the Internet? Are you a unicorn who farts rainbows too?

Madeline Davies as a Youth:

I have an irrational dislike for dudes named Todd (there is one Todd exception, and I generally don’t call him by his given name). Ugh, Todd. Todd.

I knew way too many douchey Matts in HS, I seriously thought the name was cursed.

I know I’m poor because I have no idea what a Bugatti Veyron is.

Ugh. Lena and more of her douchebonnet Dunpinions.

awkward Selma Blair is the BEST

The irony of using the word “cunt” as an insult towards a man who already has no respect for the female reproductive system.

No, it's Becky.

No, it’s real.

brb never sleeping ever again

Helium implants. The FDA should have never approved them. Did you get your boobs back, or are they still floating around in North Jersey?

I frankly find Marguiles the least interesting part of that show. I watch it when it comes on after Madam Secretary but my aunt has been watching from the beginning. She wasn’t a fan of this season. She didn’t like the Election story that went no where. Frankly since i’m learning as j watch I find characters like…

For crissakes! If you’re going to dance.........DANCE!

OH MY GOD YES. She is terrible. I never thought I’d say this, but Amber seems like she might be a halfway decent person who has learned something from her past. Farrah is just a horrible person with no redeeming characteristics and it shocks the shit out of me that anyone would be interested in dating her having seen…

Watching Farrah on Teen Mom causes rage strokes. She’s such a mean person. She’s just nasty to everyone she encounters, and if she’s being nice, it’s completely fake.