Then it's simple, just eliminate some of the men's medals to make room for women's events. They've had the majority for decades; time to share.

Why don't you go post about your opinion on Mark's use of parentheses at your job writing for a massively popular blog with hundreds of thousands of readers, hon?

I have about two weeks of underpants, then it's down to what I call my "laundry thong." It's the only thong I own, and I only wear it when there's not other option left.

That butt floss is a great motivator to do the damn wash.

So the better you know somebody, the "less worse" the rape is. By this logic (oh sorry, "LOGIC") dad rape is the best rape.

I wasn't attracted to Kit Harrington until this picture of him in glasses and now he's the Lord Commander south of my wall.

it's a competition, there can be only one winner

I didn't know anything about this movie. Now I know one thing: that I'm definitely going to see it.

Pornography: I'll know it when I see it.

Every word in that title adds a new depressing element of fuckery.

Once I was getting a brazilian wax and it hurt so bad that my feet clenched up until my pinky toe crossed like that and it was SO PAINFUL.

I was so stressed, my penis hole dilated ten inches!

My favorite people are the customers who can see that you are sick, and give you shade for working and possibly getting them sick.

DO YOU SUFFER FROM MESOTHELIOMA?!

This is the most amazing MadLibs I've ever read.

Yeah, I"ll just buy my own Grey Goose and select my own dicks thankyouverymuch.

It looks like a great golden Fleshlight.

I've been to not one, but two DRY weddings.

Get out of my brain!

I'm not affianced, but over the course of the last several years I've mentally worked my way down from wanting The Beach Wedding to The Outdoor Wedding to The Courthouse Elopement.

Now I'm leaning towards The Common-Law Wedding.

you mean that's not an oil painting?