My windshield wipers are dull so I moved to Syria.

Those neighbors are awfully righteous for people whose fences are made out of dildos.

I just heard on a podcast by Mike Rowe that the thawing with the Soviets was all because Boris Yeltsin went grocery shopping in Texas while on a diplomatic trip to the US and saw how many flavors of pudding pops we had over here. And Yeltsin made Gorbachev see that they were fucked because if even the poorest among us…

Public place vs private residence, totally different situation.

+1L

It’s from contracts law. Just means “thing of value” basically.

Apparently I am nothing but a child convincing myself that I’m a mature adult, because I have watched this 10 times and I am laughing my ass off.

How the fuck is “Jinesh Brahmbhatt” a white-guy name?

It’s so unlike a Redskin to be swindled by a bunch of white guys

Well maybe he shouldn’t have bought an iPhone and put it towards paying for his DC rent instead.

In related news: Parents are assholes and these stripes are not in fact slimming.

I thought it was great! I don’t like this new “let’s subtly underline the hyperlinks” shit going on.

i think the Millennial generation really needs to be divided in half - “old Millennials” were in 8th grade or older for 9/11 and “young Millennials” are the next ~8ish years after that. basically - when did you get Facebook? college? Old Millennial. high school? Young Millennial.

Tatum laughing is second best thing about this. The first is obviously the hero in the audience.

I don’t know why, but the fact that Mark Tatum thought it was hilarious and wasn’t getting pissed makes me like him so much more. Tatum for commish!

Is it still defeated by the lowly dog turd?

Is it still defeated by the lowly dog turd?

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have “WIN FOREVER” tattooed on my dick.

That’s my conclusion: Well, he took aim at the catcher and kept his line.

Why is there a toad sitting next to Louie CK?

Boy, Player really refuted the notion that he is “kind of a showboater” with this full page statement (in which he mentions meeting Mandela, being at the Olympics, being invited to the US Open to celebrate his grand slammiversary, etc etc)..