Welcome to the Four Seasons Levenworth, sir, can I help you with your bags? Would you be needing one or two shanks this evening?

You live in a remorseless, unapologetic oligarchy where there is a big club and you’re not in it. Got it?

To be fair, it’s exam week at UNC. Sometimes a student athlete just doesn’t mentally show up to a game after spending the day physically not showing up to their exam.

FWIW, that wax ring looks pretty thick, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a newer toilet. If you’re stealing appliances, you’ve got at least 2 guys, so uninstalling a toilet could be done in 90 seconds. If it’s a nice toilet, you could resell for $200 maybe. So the cost benefit makes sense. I realize I’m defending…

“No, I said one day I’m gonna steal your can, sir! Be patient!”

The police have nothing to go on.

I got an SID in college too. :(

Things we don’t know what they are anymore, by sport:

“An assist is any time I let someone shoot the ball who is not me...on either team.”
-Kobe Bryant

“That was a terrible pass! What was he even thin... uhhh... errrr...”

They need to program all the other robots to facepalm/roll their eyes/cover their ears/fall dead once he starts talking. They are far too calm there in his company.

This is the worst conversation ever to appear on the internet.

When I saw that glowing light coming from what appears to be the heavens, I thought maybe Tim Tebow got a new gig.

Do you know how traumatic it was for this guy to taker orders, even theoretically, from a Black President? He’s still not over it, and probably will be on disability for the rest of his life.

“We’ve seen it on film. We was ready for it.”

“The receiving player must maintain full control of the ball from the initial point of contact all the way through CTE diagnosis.”

This rule is the main reason I have been watching 90% less NFL games this year than in the past. When it isn’t a head slapping overturn then it is a long delay of no action and more commercials while they wait on replay to break it down frame-by-frame to see if it slightly jiggled. It drags the game out longer than my…

Richardson was apparently very disappointed to learn he had to sell the whole team rather than each player individually.