God I wish that was Ed Hochuli. For SO many reasons.

That joke was too over easy.

Was he able to tip Tomsula before he left?

I can’t be the only person watching who was questioning how much that return was worth right after it happened, right? Right? (Somebody please say “right”)

Ugh. I hope this doesn't make him forget things, like his dad being a huge homophobe.

Have the thoughts “I don’t have an opinion” or “you know, I’m not a black man and I have no idea what they go through, so I’m just gonna sit this one out!” become extinct?

At least she passed.

Wait.....what month is it?

That’s cool. That means larger tips for the busboy at Red Lobster. Jim Tomsula’s happy!

Nice to see Greg Hardy is employed again!

I feel for him. :-/

You're new here, aren't you?

4. You're absolutely a piece of shit (see #1).

That's...not how math works. :-)

That's...not how math works. :-)

{reads the headline and thinks, “wait...it wasn’t?!”}

Right. Dude’s a “horrible fucking person” for something he did 30 years ago. Yet is it really that hard to google his name and see how many damn charities he’s involved in? It doesn’t absolve him of the shit he did a loooong time ago, but...I mean...when does he stop being a “horrible fucking person”? Honest question!

/ blind porn star

Obviously all parties suck in this scenario. What’s Deadspin’s official thought on the statute of limitations on rapes, murders, outing gay people in positions of authority, etc.? Like, if you’re writing about Marky Mark when he’s 80, will he still be referenced as a “douche”?

Pharmacy humor...I can dig it!

The invention of the telephone. I was so psyched...called everyone I knew!