It wasn't an accident. He was looking for Justin Blackmon.

I stopped reading after “Florida man”. Any article that begins with those two words should end right there.

Rex Ryan: (cums)

Yeah, maybe if he deflated 6 million balls...

You're right. You absolutely have no sense of humor.

A cop recognizes a WHITE face and feels it's a threat to his safety...hmmm. That's a new one!

“Emily Austen’s agent didn’t return a request for comment”

“Coach asked me to work on those things and, so, if he says ‘Throw it away,’ I’m going to throw that thing as far as I can”

FYI they're not going to read this.

Not sure why this is newsworthy. Anyone who’s watched him pitch could easily see with even one good eye he was ready for the majors!

Prince died way too soon.

Don’t know why anyone should be surprised. Nobody said he was a saint.

Hansen should’ve made them a pitcher of lemonade and allowed them to pull up a seat at the kitchen table.

That's it?

By “shoulder surgery” you mean he’ll be dissecting a pork shoulder all summer, right? That's gotta be it.

Question (that I can probably find the answer to by using Google, but...):

Question (that I can probably find the answer to by using Google, but...):

23 hours left and you’ve already won the Internet for the day. Bravo.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard, “just not in the face". Ugh. :-/

How come these lists always seem like a big inside joke that nobody besides the Deadspin staff remotely gives a shit about?

Pretty simple application of the rule. He made contact with the fielder, but it wasn’t a consequence of his slide. Maybe he shouldn’t reach his arm out for no other reason other than trying to trip the fielder (and possibly break up the double play), and they’re up 4-3.