"These two are not strippers, they're golfers."

I'm really hoping this happens: my friends assured me Shawn Kemp would be the first '96 Sonic to meet Chris Hansen, but I say you always bet the field.

"Sorry, Mr. Riley, but we had to give your seats to a Mr. Wayne. I'm sure you'll like these ones just as much."

Will Quintero be fined for this? I know it's a different league, but I don't see a terrible amount of difference between this and Kobe shouting a homophobic slur. Does baseball have precedent for something like this?

I would say this is a marketing ploy, the only way to make the Heat sympathetic, but after "fan up" that would be giving the Heat's marketing folks way too much credit.

That's pretty cruel, taking one of the happiest moments for Cleveland sports fans in the last 50 years and tying it to Ernest Byner.

We got a few tosses from the coach, and if you didn't hit any you had to use the tee.

This is somehow Bobby Valentine's fault.

Finally, we'll have an answer to the question of whether an aborted fetus can do a better job coaching than Isaiah Thomas. (Oh, not that son?)

It's hard to imagine a more self-reinforcing statement than "I know that last sentence makes me sound like quite the douche."

While I get the "scrappy=white" thinking, my guess is David Lighty. "Athletically-accomplished state school" and "unprecedented level of recognition and popularity" for the basketball team makes me think she's describing a football school.

Am I incompetent as an attorney? Incompetent? You know, I allow my clients to incriminate themselves on national television. I, I'm ok with that. I, I. . . but, no, I'm not incompetent as an attorney.

Quite a mixed evening for Poles in football.

That's the best condition the turf at Heinz Field has been in since the stadium opened.