The AV Club

I mean, agreed. It’s not like I’d want to pick one up outside a motel or something with all banged up teeth and going through withdrawals. The ones in Boston looked pretty decent, but you could always tell which were good because of their prices. Ever since Backpages got nailed and was forced to drop their section for…

Motherfucker, can you play ONE piano while you're talking shit? 

Admittedly, I don’t know how voting works for the Grammys, but I feel like Kacey Musgraves won Album of the Year because the vote was split so much between the other artists.

You forgot to include Jimmy Carter’s performance at the Grammys:

Hillsong: It’s like Scientology but with Jesus

This reminds me of a Chappelle’s Show sketch where they had the same premise, gender-swapped version of WWW, and it was pretty funny but also predictable. Bunch of grown men and a kid in an elevator with a woman who can read their minds and all they can think about is how they want to give her the sex. So I guess this…

I wonder if some movies are made purely with the intent to be watched in the economy section of a United flight.

Barry “Cicada is too powerful!”

I’ve been a Pats fan since I started paying attention to football games (which coincided with me beginning to play Madden on SNES and understanding what was actually going on). This would be about a year or so before the 1996 Super Bowl, where they got pushed around by the Packers. The early 2000s run was amazing, the…

Two nipples. One is a problem. When there's two, they cancel each other out. It's math.

You probably knew this, but F&F Han’s full name is Seoul-Oh Han.

Shaw now needs to find a way to bring Han back to life. You owe us Han, Shaw! I don’t care that you’re cool and bad that great scene in the airplane fighting other bad guys while keeping a baby safe!

When I lost my appendix, I got to stay home from school for 2 weeks.

Ann? The real loss on that episode was CHRIS leaving.

I was so happy when he showed up as the Mayor of Gotham in The Dark Knight.  So happy.  

Batmanuel?

I think debilitating alcoholism counts as a pretty good reason for not committing yourself to a year of massive stress.

He’s retiring to spend more time groping John Mulaney’s wife.

One of these days, they’ll make a brain-entering machine that DOESN’T kill you in real life if you die in said brain. One of these days.