I referred to a couple guys as “hipsters” the other day and boy did they get upset. Apparently the politically correct term is “conjoined twins”.

I made this the other night because fuck this guy

🎶Well, it’s the remix to ignition

I do want it said and again and again how this has nothing to do with conventional politics. Trump isn’t just wrong or bad (or even primarily wrong or bad) because he’s a Republican. He’s bad because he’s just a shitty human being who just so happens to have hijacked politics.

Fighting you right the fuck now. Boiled peanuts taste like ass. Yes.... ass! Like chewing damp cardboard that you had to take out of a shell just to chew and be disappointed.

Fuck me I had never seen that Troy Aikman video. I love you guys.

Is Trump not a dick falling out in public?

Soooo... is Joe Flacco’s backup elite?

If someone thinks the metal bikini defines Leia, then they do not understand her character at all.

I’ve been upset and sad about a bunch of the celebrity deaths this year, but this is the first time I’ve been just straight up sobbing. I just don’t want this to be true.

Also, unfriended a person I knew from college who was making fun of people caring about her as Leia. Okay, assface, we get it that you’re above Star…

Christmas at the Airport by Nick Lowe.

This is my go to and deserves more love.

it’s probably more productive to focus your anger at the rich manipulators rather than the poor, powerless people being manipulated

I was skiing in Sun Valley, Idaho about 20 years ago... Schwarzenegger strutted in, in a tight, purple ski suit. I’m putting on my boots on the bench to the side, he puts his hands on his hips, stops and say “See, Marie, we are one of the normal people” and marched up stairs.

I absolutely agree but while I am stranded here doing phone interviews I have to write something. That’s my job. So I did this. I’m certainly not planning a series on my coldness or my feelings.

For you, being trapped in a hotel in North Dakota during a blizzard in subzero temperatures will be a story you tell for the rest of your life. For midwesterners, it was Tuesday.

So you’re gonna masturbate? Good for you. Charity begins at home, after all.

“International Federation of Bodybuilding president Rafael Santonja”