Perception is the only thing an offensive line has, because 99 percent of people watching football have no idea what an offensive line’s doing.

Footstool...to get Manning to see the playoffs.

I think that has to be the saddest, most miserable person alive. Must be a joy at parties. Although they probably don’t get invited to any.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

I can't wait to tell my mother-in-law that RG3 checks her Facebook status.

That’s perfect Cleveland. The Browns have been disguising themselves as an NFL team for decades.

But enough about the NFL’s relationship with its fans...

Not Captain America, but it’ll do.

How did Washington’s lawyers gain access to my browser history?

• The muppet that was Jabba’s pet that just kept laughing all the time.

“Well why didn’t she grab one of the guns and point it at him? That’s what I would’ve done.”

They should hang a “Get Well Soon” banner in the stadium

It looks like Philbin was able to resolve that issue at practice. Tannehill looked a lot more comfortable getting intercepted during the game.

He's fumbled four times, losing two (fumble recoveries are nearly random), in about a game-and-a-half. That's actually really bad. Not that McCown is GOOD, but fumbling is notorious for pissing off coaches.

Yes

You spelled “dick” wrong.

“I don’t like the concept of monogamy, but I DO like letting my wife believe I do so she’ll be home with a hot dinner waiting for me at night, keeping the house clean and parenting my children so I have plenty of time and mental space to obsess about what else I deserve out of life.”

Well, I know it’s going to be easy to criticize this guy and everything he did but, in fairness, I think he did a great job directing Argo.