I once worked at a college bar that bought this $3000 ID scanner. The bar owner told everyone, even had the newspaper do a story on it. This alarmed me because being a college bar half our crowd used fake ID’s. So I asked the owner why he bought this, we were going to lose a fortune. The owner smiled and shook his…

I like that probable-alien Ted Cruz is eating aluminum foil.

I don’t see the big deal. This is just like the problem with anti-vaxxers; if you keep kids away from germs they’ll never develop immunities. You keep kids away from brain trauma, they’ll never become inured to concussions.

Can’t wait for SBNation’s longform profile of him.

I could’ve told you this months ago. Me and my 15 year old friends only use Snap Chat to talk.

nobody cares when national geographic puts a camera in a bathroom, but when i do it suddenly i’m a fucking ‘pervert’ and a ‘criminal’

full of piss and shit and all sorts of bacteria that could render me dead? Almost certainly. However:

They triple filter it to get Coors Light.

Why would they name a basketball team after women you typically see in New Jersey bars?

Not surprised that Josh Smith has found yet another way to leave his taint on the game of basketball.

Such a play is known as a Kobe, as it allows you to pass to yourself and involves an asshole.

“Perfectly executed”

“It’s wrong to force a friend to continue paying rent in a city he no longer lives in:”

Not to be confused with my Chinese bathroom remodeling company “Caulk Asians”

Even “honkies” has almost no effect. You really want to make white Americans experience what it feels like to be the victim of a stereotype based purely on the color of their skin, make a shirt with a white cartoon face that says “Racists”.

A spokesman for ESPN says they’ve been flooded with calls from white people overjoyed to see a black man rooting for them.

Reporter: What were you thinking out there?

I had Zero messages and was a little disappointed with myself. Would have cried a little, but that is not something an Adequate Man would do.

The 0-3 Cardinals have struck out a combined 37 times in their three losses.

Why didn’t they show Captain Kirk in this trailer?