Yeah and people forget about what happened in Chicago in 1960 too and border towns in Mexico, thousands more than were on the rolls casting votes in certain places. The people who claim that voter fraud happens 30 times in a billion or whatever are strangely ignoring certain parts of history.

Never go double-dick fist to the head.

Reporter: Theseus has returned.

Damn Biggie got him from the grave.

You got instructions for that? Or a diagram? Seems a little tough.

I knew somebody would understand my pain. Thanks buddy.

Every time I drink a lot I wake up in the morning not feeling that great, no idea why. Can’t wait to collect the check that’s due me and my family for our suffering.

I know I’m supposed to be funny or not not funny, but guys I’m worried about Tim Burke. He has screen addiction and it’s gotten out of hand.

Te-Bowing Out or: How I Learned to Get Off My Knees For God

The Spurs have not been excellent for two years now in the postseason (it's because they're a little old).

I used to play NBA2K with the Suns and do nothing but shoot 3's with Channing Frye. He was so money. Apparently my game tape finally got some play with NBA GMs. You’re welcome. I’m pretty proud of myself.

Definitely not those early 90s Marlins fans.

I know you are...but what am I?

I read Papa John’s DFW as DTF and, well, I don’t know.

Normcore just got a whole lot classier. Oh yeah.

Well, slowly but surely, the Deadcast is at least improving.

Damnit I missed the announcement of the announcement, this is all too much too quickly.

I’m sorry but Ted Cruz can pander all he wants but the Northeast is never going to like him.

Was that little half-ass fair catch wave supposed to ‘invoking the infield fly rule’?

The best is the guy who’s like, ‘Oh why did I choose the same colors as the Hornets? Maybe it was because the Hornets merchandise sold real well, or maybe it’s because I was trying to be different.’