Two words: Serial Mom. 

He deserves to be a treasure of a better nation.

That's nothing I've heard we have invisible jets from a very reliable source.

“Write books”? What are you, some sort of nerd?

So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?

The coffee is dark and served with crullers.

The first three are “Chief Tarly, P.I.,” “Love-Matic Greyjoy” and the “Lannister Family Smile-Time Variety Hour”.

I keep thinking that Holzhauer, like Ben Richards in The Running Man, is doing too well, so they’re going to have bring the old champion out of retirement to try to beat him, and in this scenario Ken Jennings is Jesse “The Body” Ventura as Captain Freedom.

That’s nothing! I followed fellow Wheel of Fortune winner, Gary Average, on Twitter. That’ll show him!

Very disappointing - it wasn’t perfect but it was pretty damn great. 

You try shitting on command while on enough coke to kill David Bowie.

If Russell Crowe pushes me up against a bathroom wall, that's when I reach for my revolver. 

Slow down there, Constanza.

Maybe don’t dignify Scientology with the word “religion”* when it’s a deranged cult specializing in blackmail and slave labor that was started up by a mediocre sci-fi writer as a tax dodge.

Oh right, I keep forgetting she’s fucking insane :(

Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft. This is the best song on the album.

I’m still waiting for Gene’s Secret Cinnabon Recipe.

Who said anything about being a pedophile?

...that Shaw had taken such an issue with the no-nudity clause in her contract that she pulled Weaving into a trailer, took off her own top, and “demanded to know why Weaving had a problem being nude” when she did not.