Somehow, he wasn’t orange enough to sustain it

I read all documents in Snoop’s voice unless otherwise indicated.

The Las Vegas Golden Knights Who Say Ni

Whambi

I’m all for deer taking down cross country runners as long as they eat all the meat.

Just knowing that the Pi can be counted to more than 3 decimals makes anyone smarter than 85% of the GOP.

Obligatory

Great. Now I’m crying in a McDonald’s. And it's not for any of the usual reasons.

It's like an Elder Scrolls game: you have to walk there once and then you can Fast Travel.

Be glad Twitter wasn’t around in the 1990s.

I’d like to add my own humble offering to this veritable hit list:

Good job, hacker dude.

Once again, a black man discovers the Blues, but it’s white guys who make money off them.

Put this on a monument.

For a meal, falafel.

This is such bullshit.

Hitizen Kane

No, the NFL is the tobacco company that admits smoking cigarettes might cause cancer, but damn if they aren’t smooth and delicious...why don’t you enjoy one now?
Oh and we have top men working on that cancer stuff, so don’t worry. TOP MEN.

Peter King’s open letter is essentially erotic fanfiction for Roger Goodell. King doesn’t even have to be in the same room as Goodell to help get him off.