Samuel Beckett used to drive Tony Robbins to AA meetings.

I hate all these people! Bring back Sheriff Lobo.

I see they've also had their vowels pulled.

You just strung two complete sentences together, nerd. Americans know better than to trust some obvious grammar wizard. #comboversnotcommas

I was saying Locker Up.

Come back smalt!!!

See my vest, made from real gorilla chest!

But…isn't "Putin's cock holster" correct in the Latinate?

God bless that man.

No, you're think of My Fair Lady.

If you like it so much why don't you besmooch it.

Still better than Cop Rock.

Snap in to some psychotherapy!

…and a shit-ton of coke.

Who shot who in the what now?

He better, I bought tickets!

In his defense, an insane rant just isn't an insane rant unless it's shirtless.

I grab my crotch during the national anthem, someone else's crotch for the pledge.

Moon pie…what a time to be alive.

Your lede doesn't need the "about Hitler."