“Iran is no longer a competitor at the international level. No Iranian team regardless of worthiness, will be permitted to play in any FIFA sanctioned match.”

“Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared next Friday, ‘I have a good team.’”

All of these are the reasons why people who think they are smart gamblers will take the Dolphins against the spread, and the actual smart gamblers will stay the fuck away.

Please, please, please NFL: Flex the Pats-Dolphins game to the Sunday night slot. The whole country really needs to laugh right now.

I cannot believe you missed the opportunity to joke about deflated balls.

1) You’ve conflated sex work, with rape; scroll back up and read the relevant article referenced via hyperlink.

This story is bound to have a happy ending. 

Oh sure. Now he’s against release.

Wrong St. Petersburg.

I’m not a fancy big-city businessman with hundreds of millions of dollars to throw at pet projects like a developmental football league, but this seems like the kind of issue I would have straightened out before investing $250 million into a league that might have to fold before it’s first season is up because there’s…

Foster care? Well of course they are out of control.

His league is lame aaf.

Have they considered just not paying players and instead offer them experience and worthless degrees?

“Where are their parents? Seriously!” -R Kelly

Alpha Omega Nickelberry III means there were two other Alpha Omega Nickelberry’s and I’m speechless. 

You’d think boys would have learned to mind their manners around a girl who can kick balls like that by the time they’re in third grade, but no.

Whenever you find yourself lamenting your country and it’s shitty attitudes and feckless cowards, it’s always nice to go on Twitter now and then and be reminded that assholes and shitsticks are everywhere.

I’m expecting Irving and Durant to stand at center court at MSG, announce it’s a new era in Knicks basketball, and the scoreboard crashes down on top them.

The NCAA’s thoughts upon reading this article:

The real problem comes in April, when a confused Vince McMahon orders him to fight Susan G. Komen at Wrestlemania.