Well, that was an over-the-top response to a silly comment. If you detected an attack there, your insult sensors are set a little high. You might want to dial them back a bit.

No, he spilled a cosmo in his lap. That's why he said don't go out drinking after. Jeez, pay attention.

Catheter? Jesus, I'd rather have a finger in my ass. Two, even.

When those children don't need to be attended and when it allows the parent in question to do the things necessary to actually care for those children, yes they are.

The kid was nine years old. Nine year olds do not require constant supervision. And stranger abductions happen so rarely that they are statistically insignificant.