Ha. I bought my ex-girlfriend a shirt of the Pawnee Zoo gay penguin wedding.

Haha. I have a Very Serious Looking goth lady-friend, and her favorite annoyed outburst is "OH PUSSY-FARTS!"

Uh...Marky Mark used to run around with a gang of white kids in Southie savagely beating minorities. He even ripped out a Vietnamese man's eye with a meathook.

Insert sarcastic use of Bush's "Mission Accomplished" photograph here.

Not gonna lie, I'm impressed he was still going by the time it took someone to call 911, to the time the cops got there. Usually, forbidden outdoor sex is a quick boink.

Have the played The Simpsons mobile app game, Tapped Out? There's some custom animation clips, voicework by the actual actors, and a ton of inside jokes and obscure references.

His mother was born in 1975, at least according to Wikipedia.

Is that a Super Mario Brothers power-up star?

It would be a little more relevant from someone who wasn't manufactured (twice) by her father's millions.

I have some kinky lady-friends on a kink-oriented social networking site (Fetlife), and they're amazed how many dudes have an EXTREME CLOSE-UP of their dick as their DEFAULT photograph on their profile. They're all just perfectly average, generic dicks, too. I wonder how these dudes expect women to keep track of…

The bottom looks a bit panty-ish, but the top doesn't look like any bra I've ever seen.

I came to make this joke. I swear, it looks like half the guys at Lollapalooza '93.

This looks like "Another World" on the Amiga.

When I was in Amsterdam with an ex-girlfriend, she suggested getting a prostitute for a threesome, as it was something we were both interested in, but didn't want to make things weird with any of our friends, or meeting some potentially clingy/crazy weirdo from a dating site, or either of us getting emotionally…

IIRC, after "Boogie Nights" came out, Mark Wahlberg needed a special bodyguard specifically to keep women from grabbing his cock. They didn't realize his massive dong in the movie was a prosthetic.

Her nose, jawline, chin, cheekbones, and lips are all significantly different from when she was "Lizzy Grant."

I took the old one and got a 1290. I'm not sure how the new one works exactly, but if I'm reading that right, an 1180 out of 2400 is less than 50%. It's like a 790 or so, on the old scare. We had a brain-dead, heavily recruited football star, and he needed an 800 MINIMUM to get an athletic scholarship to a football…

"Couldn't she put her face in another pussy?"

Her multi-millionaire father Rob Grant? He tried to buy her a career as squeaky-clean pop star Lizzy Grant. When that failed, she came back with tons of plastic surgery, a new stage name, and this affected gloomy-hipster persona.