Main story: Save the world from an ancient, time-traveling dragon trying to resurrect the extinct dragon race and destroy the world.

I have not pre-ordered a single game since I paid for this piece of shit.

"But I want the salary, benefits, and pension that the UAW busted their ass to get all of their employees without supporting them. It's not fair! Mommy, make them stop!"

Haha. I dated a woman who confessed to masturbating to a sexual fantasy involving the Michelin Man.

"Elytte Barbour"

Red Phase is the first couple of weeks. Before that, we were civilians. Coming from the Nintendo Generation, most of us were in, at best, average to mediocre shape, with a handful of ex-jocks with Ranger or Special Forces enlistment contracts. The bulk were skinny or average guys with zero muscle tone, and were in…

Nearly every one in my training company threw up and nearly passed out during the initial "Red Phase" of Army basic training.

Oops, replied to the wrong comment. Peppermintmonster mentioned the mini-skirts.

The skirt uniform was unisex (at least on The Next Generation). It was an attempt to show how progressive the future was.

...or their ex-boyfriend peering through their windows at night. I heard the ladies dig that thing.

The Chicken Tenders at Carl's Jr. are pretty good. If you pull the breading off, you can tell it's a whole cut of chicken.

Yeah, that's really going to help the public's perception as you guys as crazy assholes.

Yeah, it's just a different kind of shit, although less painful.We've gone from "Sharp Peanuts" to "Green Meanies."

Former Republican congressman Allen West already has an opinion piece up his website (spoiler: He hated it), where he labeled it "truly disturbing."

It's a Spokane thing. It's the conservative, Teabagger part of the state who are furious that they live in a Blue State since they get outvoted by the Seattle metro area. There's also the fact that a lot of them are Teabaggers whining about "government moochers" while the nearby Fairchild Air Force Base pumps…

Pretty much. I remember watching "Fight Club" with an ex-girlfriend one time, and she commented on how hot Brad Pitt looked in his ridiculous, 70s porn star outfits in the movies.

Relevant webcomic:

That was something that got beat into me in the Army. You only wear any kind of headwear (there's an exception for female soldiers) indoors, is if you're armed. We had a few guys show up to boot camp wearing a baseball caps, and the Drill Sergeants singled them out and screamed "TAKE YER FUCKIN' COVER OFF INDOORS,…

I used to work at a ski resort. People wanted refunds because it was "too cold." On a mountain. In winter. Or, "the lines were too long," on opening day, or holiday weekends with fresh snow.

You're close. She's a product drawn up by her billionaire father. They tried the squeaky clean pop star act first (as Lizzy Grant). Now she's the gloomy hipster Lana Del Rey.