But now, not! Because of a 50-question multiple-choice test.

It’s a welcome change from the last owner, who got exciteable about black people for all the wrong reasons.

If ever there were a dude who had his sweat glands disabled through advanced medicine, it'd be him.

The fact that Steve Ballmer isn’t consistently soaking-wet is incredible.

He should switch his accountant. 

I hope he beats this 

Man, I can totally relate. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve screwed something up for somebody because I can’t keep a secret. This is the first time I’ve had something in common with Magic Johnson.

I’d imagine the smells of way-past-expiration dairy products at a fine establishment such as the No Frills Supermarket would overpower any stench of human decay.

Hope Solo is not afraid to show that she’s got beef 

The old good cop/bad domestic abuser approach? Classic.

“Hope Solo” is my wife’s response when I ask her what her preferred method to achieve orgasm is.

Solo has quite a beef with USSF. this could be curtains for them if she gets involved.

I’m not a big Barstool guy and always prefer to read Deadspin, but...

By the time he comes to help the Knicks, he’ll likely be Leonard: Part 6.

100 bucks says Kawhi has Drake saved in his phone as Aubrey Graham

If Kawhi wants silence the Lakers are fucked. Dude had a meeting with Magic then like a half hour later Magic is giving an interview going over exactly what they discussed. That shit’s on an entirely different level than Drake’s cheer-leading.

The Chair finally won one.

Still better than the six seconds Dolan gave Durant to dunk a basketball last week 

Playing on the video scoreboard:

But Mike Miller was the greatest shooter the worlds ever seen in that one series. He ran down the court like me, a 40 year old with broken legs, but he shot the ball like Reggie Miller vs the Knicks.