Yeah, what exactly is the question here? My waitress made a mistake and apologized and everyone’s moved on, what should I do?

Am I wrong in thinking that one third of one glass of light beer is not going to cause Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?

Well he was sentenced to 12 years but he got off early for good behavior.

Yeah, for some reason it feels kinda distasteful to switch from telling us the release date for some comic book to oh by the way kiddie porn. It’s like, “All your favorite characrers are back too, and only a few of them are now child molesters!”

If my chef is such an asshole that he thinks I care in any way, shape, or form about his feelings when I eat, or that I should pay for something I don’t want on the off chance he’ll take the fact that I don’t want mushrooms as some personal affront, I definitely don’t care about hurting his feelings

Well Kinja is pretty much the worst thing ever, replacing a functional, easily navigable site with an infinitely scrolling list bloated with ads and totally unrelated articles from totally unrelated websites that buries relevant content while amplifying everything people hate about the Internet, all tied together with…

The DC movies are the worst possible point of convergence between corporate meddling and creative over-indulgence. They barely qualify as films and are broken on multiple levels. Stop trying to maintain artificial hype for a franchise nobody wants. The DC cinematic universe in its current incarnation has failed. It…

These movies are fascinating calamities that I absolutely adore. They’re trainwrecks on so many levels that they actually enter this hallowed space alongside the Star Wars prequels and the final season of Dexter in the pantheon of Things That Should Be Impossible To Fuck Up But They Fucked Up Anyway.

“GAL GODOT!??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SPRINGFIELD??”

It’s like the moment you’re absorbed by Kinja, your new house style demands you turn into a horrible sanctiomonious condescending dickhead.

As much as I’d prefer AVC to get back to pop culture instead of devoting half their articles to miserable seething tirades about Donald Trump, I cannot pretend that Logan Paul is some incredibly important public figure that must be acknowleded, especially when half the article is “this guy just wants attention!!!!”

But then how will the AV Club be able to maintain its sense of smug superiority if it has to honestly examine its role in contributing to this?

“He’s a Youtube Quasi-Star, so we gotta hit him where it hurts: Giving him all the free publicity he wants.”

Well thank god you’re not giving him the publicity he obviously wants. Don’t get me wrong; I get it. This random Youtube psuedocelebrity is an important public figure and the public has a right to know about his falling out with a sponsorship deal with some thing no one has heard of. But can I say something really,…

No, if you have to choose between putting a child molester in office and not putting achld molester in office and decide now would be a great time to MAKE A STATEMENT with a jerkoff protest vote that will persuade exactly zero people, you absolutely should be ashamed.

In the aftermath of the 2000 elections, I used to comfort myself by saying “at least liberals have learned a valuable lesson about not torpedoing viable candidates over incredibly minor disagreements.”

It’s pretty advanced conceptual humor to go through all the hassle of performing your civic obligations, only to blow it on a terrible joke no one will ever see.

But aren’t both sides equally bad? (No.)

“But how hard would it be to insert one little seven-minute speech where Snoke inexplicably banbles out his entire backstory to a person he’s about to kill?”

Right, and during that time Palpatine revealed nothing of his origins or how he turned Vader or what his name was or what his goals were beyond “be a complete dick”.