DEAR SIR STOP HAVE JUST PERUSED YOUR LATEST CIRCULAR REGARDING BASE-BALL PROWESS OF ONE GEORGE HERMAN RUTH STOP STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH YOUR CONCLUSIONS AS TO HIS SUCCESS AGAINST MORE MODERN BASE-BALLERS STOP WILL CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION IMMEDIATELY STOP YOURS SINCERELY PHINNEAS J RUTHERFORD

You’re a man of culture, I like that.

Surprised Foodbabe isn’t somehow involved in this.

How many Tucker Max books do you own?

These guys are nowhere near as badass as Obama.  He would have torched the stuff while he was still wearing it.

Endurance athletes, triathletes and distance runners, are a humble lot

muppets position

“He .... has been wearing a soft cast.”

Congratulations as you’ve succeeded where the Catholic Church has failed. I’m off to church and an hour of prayer and confession. What you so aptly described sounds like hell, and I’m not taking any chances.

We had a drink called “the latest technology” that was equal parts tab, jagermeister, and nyquil

“When I become a parent.”

Skip?

How many months in jail do you get for breaking kayfabe?

I hear he drowned his sorrows by going to Perkins in search of some pie.

I’d settle for less fawning coverage of a murderous dictator’s sister, but even that is apparentlytoo much to ask.

That’s still a step up from scrapple.

“Your decision to assault was calculated, precise, devious, despicable,” Aquilina said. “You played on everyone’s vulnerability. I’m not vulnerable.=

As long as you can keep the buffaloes away from folding tables, it might work.

I’m glad you asked! I just wrote an article about this over on Gawrker!

Seriously?