How about “Googly Eyes About To Be Shot Out Of My Skull” for a name? Too big? Cause man, I love dogs but looking at Paris’ new dog made me uncomfortable af.

Trevor Noah nailed this one perfectly: there is a massive difference between using obscene language to talk about your totally consensual sexual experiences and talking about sexually assaulting someone. Is the first one kinda shitty, depending on the situation? Yea. Do your friends probably want you to shut up…

just a reminder.

Paul McCartney has the hair Donald Trump wishes he had.

If you don’t want your daughter to hear the word “pussy” maybe don’t let her watch the segment where you’re defending Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by the pussy. That’s like going on Twitter on a Sunday night and complaining about Game of Thrones spoilers.

Sure it wasn’t his funny bone?

But he’s a pro at performing in a wheel chair!

“I had the blessing of raising her pretty much on my own,” Ms. Maples said.

“Tiffany is a tremendous young woman with a big and beautiful heart. She was always a great student and a very popular person no matter where she went. I am incredibly proud of Tiffany and how well she has done. — DJT.”

And there’s the “we should have taken their (Iraq’s) oil to prevent the rise of ISIS/L.” Dude, that’s contrary to the Geneva Convention. It’s a war crime. The type that ends with lots of people either at The Hague or permanently unable to go anywhere that has extradition. And even Bed Bath and Beyond doesn’t have…

“Those are not my words. There is no record of those being my words, even though there are recordings where I said those words. Okay, so maybe they are my words. So what. I will not apologize for my words. I will not stand by them either, because that’s not fair. But if I did say those words, it’s the media’s…

14 million IN 1975! That’s not a small loan today and it most certainly was a massive loan in the 70s!

I’m still stunned from the moment Trump doubled down on the concept of turning our armed forces into global mercenaries “we defend them? Let them pay for it” to the point that Hillary felt the need to turn to the camera and reassure other countries that no, contrary to what Orange Cheeto just said, the US will uphold…

I really don’t have many friends on FB at all and it’s so funny to see the people still proclaiming “Both candidates are awful! I can’t stand either of them.”

42 days, 18 hours and 25 minutes until the polls close in Virginia and Florida and our long national nightmare begins its fluorescent death knell

The trolls are out in force. Please flag and dismiss.

no my dear, sorry, we only care about how to stay skinny and how to get a dick.

And they didn’t even throw it in her face that she lied about all Trump employees having paid maternity leave. Most Trump employees don’t, they have unpaid leave. I imagine Ivanka got paid leave, so she assumed everyone did.

Whatever you do don’t look behind the wizard’s curtain!

The whole “Ivanka is the sane and measured one” narrative is hilarious and dangerous. She’s as much of a huckster and scam artist as her father is.