Meanwhile I’m insured through Obamacare and pregnant and terrified. Thanks a lot, assholes.

Except that what he wanted wasn’t just sex; it was hurting people and getting off by getting one over on them.

I am pretty sure the statute of limitations applies to every crime except murder.

Because he doesn’t get off on consensual sex. He gets off on drugging women and raping them.

we are now boarding the passengers seated in the no class section of our fight.

Wonderfully written and so true.

I’m not the religious sort, but sending alllll the most loving, comforting, warm vibes in the direction of Todd and Billie right now.

So that explains why this happened last night. One of my asshole cats knocked a big container of treats off a shelf in the pantry and gorged himself.

No. It’s going to be a mess of the highest order. She’s in love with love and while he thinks he wants a woman who is his better or equal, what he really wants are strippers and Instagram girls to tell hims he’s pretty and smart 24/7. We’re going to have to endure emo drake songs about jlo in 2017

I can’t be the only one who thinks Drake and J Lo are kind of perfect for each other, right??

It is frightening how much the Republicans want to end the transparency of the democratic process.

Loved her casual look. She had a very approachable style, but unique to her.

This year has destroyed the small bit of respect I had for evangelicals. You vote 3:1 for the walking embodiement of all seven deadly sins and then say I can’t have an IUD because of Jesus? Fuck off.

So god can’t look like Octavia Spencer, but can be compared to sentient cornflakes. Got it

• “HELD DOWN IN ART CLASS, CLASSMATE SHOVED SEQUINS DOWN THROAT”

“SMILEY HAND TOY FROM VENDING MACHINE, MOM NOTED A RUBBER HAND PROTRUDING FROM RECTUM”

If you’ve ever watched Fox News, they like bringing on people like this from time to time to get some good liberal-bashing in. Carlson, however, broke with their typical tradition of bringing on another conservative to gang up on them with and didn’t repeatedly ask non sequitor shit to try to make them run in circles…

My favorite part of Trump not being able to book anyone is his tweet about “I don’t want any A list celebrities to come!” Do you think he realizes that he tacitly told the bums who are actually willing to perform for him that they’re bums! “I don’t want popular, famous people! These losers are good enough!”

I hope they do “Springtime for Hitler.”

“Forcing dozens of women to go and perform for this man is without a question going to be problematic.”